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The Undercover Parent
By HARLAN COBENMARCH 16, 2008Continue reading the main story Share This Page Continue reading the main story
NOT long ago, friends of mine confessed over dinner that they had put spyware on their 15-year-old son’s computer so they could monitor all he did online. At first I was repelled at this invasion of privacy. Now, after doing a fair amount of research, I get it.
Make no mistake: If you put spyware on your computer, you have the ability to log every keystroke your child makes and thus a good portion of his or her private world. That’s what spyware is — at least the parental monitoring kind. You don’t have to be an expert to put it on your computer. You just download the software from a vendor and you will receive reports — weekly, daily, whatever — showing you everything your child is doing on the machine.
Scary. But a good idea. Most parents won’t even consider it.
Maybe it’s the word: spyware. It brings up associations of Dick Cheney sitting in a dark room, rubbing his hands together and reading your most private thoughts. But this isn’t the government we are talking about — this is your family. It’s a mistake to confuse the two. Loving parents are doing the surveillance here, not faceless bureaucrats. And most parents already monitor their children, watching over their home environment, their school.
Today’s overprotective parents fight their kids’ battles on the playground, berate coaches about playing time and fill out college applications — yet when it comes to chatting with pedophiles or watching beheadings or gambling away their entire life savings, then... then their children deserve independence?
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Some will say that you should simply trust your child, that if he is old enough to go on the Internet he is old enough to know the dangers. Trust is one thing, but surrendering parental responsibility to a machine that allows the entire world access to your home borders on negligence.Continue reading the main story
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Some will say that it’s better just to use parental blocks that deny access to risky sites. I have found that they don’t work. Children know how to get around them. But more than that — and this is where it gets tough — I want to know what’s being said in e-mail and instant messages and in chat rooms.
There are two reasons for this. First, we’ve all read about the young boy unknowingly conversing with a pedophile or the girl who was cyberbullied to the point where she committed suicide. Would a watchful eye have helped? We rely in the real world on teachers and parents to guard against bullies — do we just dismiss bullying on the Internet and all it entails because we are entering difficult ethical ground?Photo Credit Drew Beckmeyer
Second, everything your child types can already be seen by the world — teachers, potential employers, friends, neighbors, future dates. Shouldn’t he learn now that the Internet is not a haven of privacy?
One of the most popular arguments against spyware is the claim that you are reading your teenager’s every thought, that in today’s world, a computer is the little key-locked diary of the past. But posting thoughts on the Internet isn’t the same thing as hiding them under your mattress. Maybe you should buy your children one of those little key-locked diaries so that they too can understand the difference.
Am I suggesting eavesdropping on every conversation? No. With new technology comes new responsibility. That works both ways. There is a fine line between being responsibly protective and irresponsibly nosy. You shouldn’t monitor to find out if your daughter’s friend has a crush on Kevin next door or that Mrs. Peterson gives too much homework or what schoolmate snubbed your son. You are there to start conversations and to be a safety net. To borrow from the national intelligence lexicon — and yes, that’s uncomfortable — you’re listening for dangerous chatter.
Where Can I Get a Good Spy Software?
For this guide, I used www.DDIUtilities.com for my remote cell phone android spy software.
DDI offers the best bang for the buck! DDI Utilities includes every practical spy feature imaginable. It only costs .99 (one-time fee, of course), and you can also test this iPhone and Android spy software with their Free Trial !
They’re really affordable, have great customer support, and the program comes with free lifetime upgrades – so it’s worth checking them out.
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The 8 Most Famous Computer Viruses of All Time
If you’ve never had a virus you might be tempted to write it all off as a load of people panicking over nothing. How much damage can a virus really cause? Do hackers really steal data and identities and wreck computers?
Personal information of millions of Americans are at risk, as attacks on smart phones grow. On this Sunday’s “60 Minutes,” Sharyn Alfonsi investigates why phones are so vulnerable, taking a look at the surprising role hackers play in protecting our data. Some of the world’s best hackers show just how easy it is for them to get access to everything on your phone. Alfonsi joins “CBS This Morning” to preview her report.
7 Ways to Monitor Your Kid's Phone, Tablet and Laptop
Richard Lewisohn—Getty Images/Cultura RF By Martha Pickerill January 12, 2015
As a parent, you have the right to know what the kids in your care are doing with their digital devices, and to control what kids can see and use. It’s key to introduce controls and rules when a device is new so you and your child can be clear about what is and isn’t O.K. during screen time.
First of all, the device your family or child will use likely has its own parental control options. Some can screen out Internet access altogether, and others can filter out certain sites. Because they are all different, the best plan is to read up on the parental controls for each device and operating system your family will use.
Below are some tools for monitoring or limiting the amount of time the device is in use, tracking the software or apps used, and more.
Windows PCs When you create an account designated as a child’s account, you get the option to enable Family Safety settings. Family Safety allows you to monitor and /or time the usage from your child’s account, block certain applications or sites, and get weekly reports reviewing the activity on the account.
Macs If you and your child use separate Macs, you can share screens in addition to turning on Parental Controls. Log on as Administrator on your child’s Mac, go to the Sharing preferences and choose Screen Sharing. Continue to “Allow Access For” and choose Administrators. When you are on your Mac, go to the Finder and choose Go: Network to see your child’s Mac. Click on Share Screen to see the activity.
Software You can purchase software to further monitor or block kids’ access, which allows varying levels of censorship, depending on your kids’ ages and your house rules. Intego makes a highly rated one for Macs, Verity by NCH Software makes a popular one for PCs.
Tablets Each will have its own parental control settings, which will operate similarly to the corresponding computer operating system’s settings, described above.
Phones If your kid has any kind of smartphone, backing up the phone’s content to your own PC or Mac is a good idea. This way, you will be aware of which apps are being used on the phone, and you’ll be able to see what calls and text messages your child is making.
Be sure to activate the basic security features, as well as any further limitations on usage you want, in the phone’s setting before your child begins to use the phone.
GPS location trackers
Life360 Has a security map that will show you the precise location of each family member, as well as allow you all to communicate about you whereabouts. It’s free, and works with iPhone, Android, Windows Phone, and BlackBerrys.
Securafone This app lets parents set up boundaries on a map, and alerts them if kids wander outside the boundaries. It also has a panic button that kids can press to immediately dial a parent or other authority if trouble arises. Free, and works with iPhone and Android.
Phone service providers: AT&T, Verizon, Sprint and other carriers also offer GPS tracking unique to their users. Check your plan and see what services are included.
Finally, how about trying to spend less time on your own Facebook page or gossip news site, to allow more time for joint media experiences with your family? You can block yourself (and your distractible kids) from such time wasters. SelfControl can be yours, free of charge.
This story was part of Time For Family’s special report on kids and screens. Click here for Time’s special deal for families.
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